Welcome Back!

I'm sorry blog but, I had to put you on the back burner for a few months... 5 to be exact. I absolutely missed you but I have to admit that I almost didn't come back here. But here I am and I'm continuing to take my recovery further... and further... and furrrrther. Update time :-)

This past weekend (June 5th of '09 ) was not only my daughters' 3rd birthday but it was my 9 month anniversary with sobriety! Yeaaaahhhhh baby! There's no measure for my happiness at this point in my journey. Sure, there are plenty of things I would change about life if I could... but my ability to cope is ... new and unfamiliar, and awesome. Soooo Happy anniversary!

Next bit of good news... I have a job! Wooohooo! (Yes, I'm a little excited.) I'm a waitress and a damn happy one. (hehe) I've had the job for almost 3 months now and the money is helping me get out of the debt I created when I was flushing my life down the toilet. The #1 Most Amazing, Life changing reward for me is ... the recognition I get for being a genuinly good person and (check this out) ... a "sweetheart", "such a nice person", "best waitress I ever had" , "She really cares about us" ... ?? Woahhh, I'm taken aback almost every day at work. You see, it's never been a part of my life to be a caring and sweet person. The people I dealt with in school or at my other jobs.. well, they were friendly with me just for the sake of not having a problem with me. I was nasty, aggressive and always had an attitude of some kind. Anyone that knows me can vouch for that.

(PARDON THE INTERRUPTION... I HAVE TO HELP NINA PAINT HER NAILS. BE RIGHT BACK.)

Okay... my ADD doesn't work well with interruptions. Where was I? Ummmm, being appreciated at work, with people, by friends and co-workers... this has been, by far, the most rewarding experience of my life. Sounds pretty sad huh?? Wellll darling, I lived a pretty sad existance for a loooong time. Anyone struggling with a disease, wether it be addiction or some other emotional or mental condition, can understand how important recognition is to us. I spent so much time doing the wrong thing. I hurt a lot of people and I'm sure no one would've thought I was a truly giving and loving person under all that trash I gave off. What's surprising to me is that I'm not trying hard to be a sweetheart or "most liked" at the workplace. My concern with other peoples' lives and well being has always been inside me ... I guess I just feel comfortable allowing that to become a solid part of my life now. I wouldn't be surprised if people thought I was a softie, or weak even... Only I and the readers of this blog know the reason behind the seemingly overcompensated behavior. It's who I am and I'm freakin' proud people!!!

Now, I would love to stick around and blab some more but this child of mine is throwing my ADD into overdrive and I can't focus :) I will make a point to come back. I missed you blog!

**P.S. Thanks to my co-worker who found the blog I honestly thought I deleted from my facebook page (lol). It made me want to come back and keep it going. Don't know why, but it did... so thanks!

I'm Stephanie and I'm an addict ;)